Your Child as Your Teacher

May 19, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Your child is such great teacher for you – if you will simply watch her with an openness and willingness to learn. By observing what she does, she will teach you so much about who she is, what she needs and wants from you to develop into who she wants to be

He will also teach you about being who you are and living a full life – if you are willing to learn from him, if you allow him to be who he is.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them
like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
 – Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Filed Under: Children, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Passing of a Leading Light for Children and Parents

May 13, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Some of you may know of her or have read her book. Some of you will never have heard of her.

I discovered Jean Liedloff, author of The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost, shortly after my son Orion was born 35 years ago. Her book profoundly impacted me because she confirmed and validated what I already envisioned as a parent.

She inspired me and gave me the courage to continue on the path I had begun. For this, I am deeply appreciative.

For two years as a young woman, Jean lived with Stone Age Indians in the South American rainforest. At first judgmental of their seemingly primitive and inadequate parenting, she discovered a new view of what human nature really is and what our children most need from us. She realized the limitations of our Western, ‘civilized’ ways of parenting.

Here is a must-see video that will most-likely challenge what you believe to be true as a parent and give you profound new insights in perceiving your child. Even if you are the parent of a teen or an adult child, you can learn a lot from this wise woman of our time.

The video is 53 minutes, and it is worth every second. Don’t let this go by! Create a time this weekend to watch it all. Share it with your partner. Let it make a difference in your life!

Watch the video here.

Enjoy!

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How Far Do You Trust Your Child?

August 22, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Today 14-year-old Laura Dekker of the Netherlands set sail from Portugal in her yacht Guppy with a goal of being the youngest person to sail around the world SOLO.

16-year-old Austrailian Jesse Watson completed her journey today in Sydney just as Dekkar set out.

Most everyone has an opinion. What are her parents thinking? What a brave girl! I hope she makes it.

Some “experts” say Jesse Watson actually didn’t sail enough nautical miles to be technically considered as circumnavigating the world. Others claim she didn’t really do it solo because she had to dock for repairs and have others help her. This is pettyness speaking.

In the midst of all the controversy, I think we’re missing the most important issues.

These young women demonstrate profound trust and confidence in themselves and in their skill to accomplish such an amazing goal. Both they and their parents show extraordinary courage.

To most of us, no matter our age, the idea of sailing solo around the world seems daunting, if not down right impossible. Most of us would be too fearful and filled with self-doubt to consider such an adventure, even if we did know how to sail.

Their moms and dads have to have gut-wrenching trust in their daughters’ abilities and resourcefulness. I’m sure they cringe inside and pray for their daugher’s safety continuously. Yet you have to give them and their daughters credit.

Why can’t we be amazed and inspired by their actions and then choose to allow our children and ourselves to take more risks?

The second important issue is that we dramatically under-estimate what our children are capable of. When we let our fears and inability to allow our children to try the seemingly impossible, we limit them not only in the moment but also for a life-time. [Read more…]

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How is Technology Affecting Your Child?

July 2, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Parents often share with me their concern about their child’s frequent use of technology, their seeming ‘addiction’ to all things virtual – texting, video games, instant messaging, cell phones, game boys in addition to TV and movies.

Recently I came across an article about children and technology by child psychologist and author David Elkind of Tufts University. I’ve always had great respect, affinity and admiration for his ideas and teachings.

In his article, Elkind reflects on the many changes a child experiences because of our technological society…the focus on speed in making things happen, general cultural changes of feeling busier and more rushed to get things done.

Cell phones and IM that feed into the divide between children and their parents because they have easy and immediate access to friends 24 / 7.

Before the digital culture, there was a language and lore of childhood – games, songs, rhymes, stories passed down verbally from generation to generation. Remember “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider?” Now young people have access to information from all over the world with little need or time for such ‘silly games.’

One of the things that most concerns me is the loss of 8 – 12 hours per week of unstructured play and outdoor pastimes. Elkind reminds us “spontaneous play allows children to use their imagination, make and break rules, socialize with each other…nurtures their autonomy and originality.”

These are hugely essential developmental experiences and skills that naturally develop problem-solving skills, social skills, self-expression, deep connection to one’s self, and creativity. If we limit these in our children, we “dumb them down” as author-educator John Taylor Gatto would say, and advance a mindless lack of awareness of self, others, and the realities of life. [Read more…]

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