Does Academic Pressure in Kindergarten Make a Difference?

Excellent research-based article in the Harvard Review about the value of academics in Kindergarten. What works is supporting children in play and their natural development.

We can trust children. All the academic efforts in the early years do not help children become more capable or to be more advanced academically than children who followed their natural internal motivation and learned through play.

You can read the article here.

School is a High-Pressure Activity for Children

Children are natural learners as witnessed by their amazing ability to learn to walk, talk, reason, figure things out, imagine new realities – all by the age of 3 and without the benefit of a ‘credentialed teacher.’ Children are naturally curious and are hard-wired to learn and to want to learn.

Yet research shows that by 3rd grade most children have lost their love of learning, their innate drive to learn. Why is this? What happens in school that makes it limiting of chilldren’s natural desires and abilities?

Schools get a lot of criticism these days, mostly because students are not learning so we’re placing more pressure on schools to produce academically. Schools feel the need to teach to the test, everyone working toward the seemingly all-important test scores.

Yet I believe that the biggest determiner of a child’s ability to learn and ultimately succeed in life is their Emotional Wholeness, their emotional well-being, their confidence, connection with themselves and others, and their love of learning, not their grades or test scores.

Schools place demands, expectations and challenging situations on children, which take them away from their natural abilities to learn. I’m concerned that many of the ‘high expectations’ can actually be a deterrent to a child’s happiness and ability and desire to learn.

The other day I started thinking about all the ways that children feel pressure by participation in school. Here are the ones I’ve thought of so far and not in any particular order. Please add your own to this list.

Important Note: I am not saying these apply to all schools. There are many innovative, child-centered programs. Still, I believe all of the following are cause for concern.

~ Dealing with lots of people and social interaction within a relatively small space, aka ‘crowding’

~ Have to sit in desks, uninteresting circle times for often long periods of time – even if you love to move, need to move to learn and be happy.

~ Pressure to conform and fit in with her peers so it is difficult to be himself

~ Expectations to learn information up to specified standard within a given time frame, whether it is interesting to you or not, whether it is easy or difficult

~ Expectations to master skills and information even when not developmentally ready

~ Pressure to earn high grades from teachers and fellow students [Read more…]

Grades Aren’t Everything!

I was talking with a therapist friend and colleague recently. She shared with me how much busier she is now that school has started. Children and parents are both feeling the increased pressure and stress of a school schedule  and all its responsibilities.

We lamented how hurtful and high-pressure school is for children of all ages. She shared with me that even young people whom she counseled during the summer show increased signs of stress and anxiety.

Pressure, stress and worry are simply not good for your child. No matter what the motivation behind it. This includes all children, whether your child is the A student or the one who is struggling to get a passing grade.

Schools are mandated to help your child learn, to teach her the information and skills she needs to succeed in our society. The No Child Left Behind Act places dramatically more pressure on teachers and schools to reach specific academic standards. This pressure is  passed on to your child.

Children are being forced to grow up too quickly. They need play time, down time, time to listen and connect with themselves. David Elkind talks about this in all of his books, including The Hurried Child.

You most likely agree with this. So what can you do? [Read more…]

Play with Your Child!

Having fun time with your child is hugely important to both you and your child. Yet in our busy lives, it’s easy to forget to make time and to let the moment go by.

When I watch my wonderful son Orion play with his son Sebastian, I love seeing how much fun they’re having together. I decided to talk with Orion about these fun times with his son to see what I could learn.

In the video below, I interview Orion about the difference it makes in his life and in his relationship with Sebastian and with his experience of being a dad.

I recommend you take a few minutes to listen in. After the call, I realized I had learned something important about myself and my relationships, including the one with my grandson.

What Orion has to share about having fun can impact your entire life, if you really think about what he is saying.

Enjoy!

If you’d like to discover Orion’s personal guidelines of how he creates fun, playful times with his son, become a member of my Joyous Family Coaching Circle and join us on our August Family Empowerment Call!

How is Technology Affecting Your Child?

Parents often share with me their concern about their child’s frequent use of technology, their seeming ‘addiction’ to all things virtual – texting, video games, instant messaging, cell phones, game boys in addition to TV and movies.

Recently I came across an article about children and technology by child psychologist and author David Elkind of Tufts University. I’ve always had great respect, affinity and admiration for his ideas and teachings.

In his article, Elkind reflects on the many changes a child experiences because of our technological society…the focus on speed in making things happen, general cultural changes of feeling busier and more rushed to get things done.

Cell phones and IM that feed into the divide between children and their parents because they have easy and immediate access to friends 24 / 7.

Before the digital culture, there was a language and lore of childhood – games, songs, rhymes, stories passed down verbally from generation to generation. Remember “The Itsy, Bitsy Spider?” Now young people have access to information from all over the world with little need or time for such ‘silly games.’

One of the things that most concerns me is the loss of 8 – 12 hours per week of unstructured play and outdoor pastimes. Elkind reminds us “spontaneous play allows children to use their imagination, make and break rules, socialize with each other…nurtures their autonomy and originality.”

These are hugely essential developmental experiences and skills that naturally develop problem-solving skills, social skills, self-expression, deep connection to one’s self, and creativity. If we limit these in our children, we “dumb them down” as author-educator John Taylor Gatto would say, and advance a mindless lack of awareness of self, others, and the realities of life. [Read more…]