Living Outside the Box with Your Child 

As a young person growing up on a farm in rural Iowa, I lived in an area where many people “knew your business.” It’s a place where you could get a reputation if you stepped outside the box or if someone even suspected you had.

So I tried to fit in, even though I never really felt that I did. I tried to put on a good show so no one would know how isolated and lonely I felt. As you can imagine, this was incredibly restrictive and limiting to me, and , yes, I did get an undeserved reputation from people who had no idea who I was.

Fast forward to becoming a mom at 27 when I made a conscious choice to raise my son in a way that made sense to me. I had observed other parents relating with their children, and I had seen the limitations of the ‘usual approach.’

I wanted no part of it. I knew my son – all children – were much more than the adults around them realized. No more trying to fit in or not stand out as different.

I chose to focus on the two things that really mattered to me –

I wanted Orion to be who he was, not who society, the education system, or I wanted him to be. I wanted to support him in being his own person and living his truth. What I today call his Inner Brilliance.

I wanted to have a great relationship with him, where we were authentic, honest, and trusting with one another as people, not based on a traditional mother – son relationship.

These two priorities mattered more to me than anything, and I did my best to not let his room, schoolwork, friends, clothes, and other minor issues damage what mattered most.

If you ask Orion or I today, we will both agree these two priorities made all the difference as we continue to cherish our honest, loving relationship with one another.

Living outside The Box, parenting outside The Box requires two things:

1. The willingness and ability to think for yourself. To look around you with a questioning eye and to find your own way. Focusing on making your choices consciously and not simply going along with the crowd and fitting it.

2. The courage to trust your child and yourself. The courage to be seen as different and to stand out, most likely inspiring others to reconsider the choices they make as a parent. To be willing to fly in the face of authority and tradition, even when you’re scared and uncertain.

Now it’s your turn. What matters most to you as a parent? What are your highest priories for your child and yourself? I’m talking Big Picture things here. Not academic achievement or achievement of any kind. Not your fears or concerns. Dream big!

What do you really want to create / share / experience with your child?

Then let this be your guide. As you look at the day-to-day challenges, how can you honor your highest priorities as a person who is a parent and create a joyous, honoring relationship with your child?


An Invitation to join “Our Children’s Inner Brilliance Community’

Want to chose your highest priorities as a parent and learn how to stay focused on them through your day-to-day interactions with your child? This is exactly what we are going to talk about in our September Community Call on Saturday, September 27.

If you’d like to continue this exploration and discussion, I invite you to join ‘Our Children’s Inner Brilliance Community.’ where we explore this and other topics to nurture your child’s and your parenting Inner Brilliance.

This Community is for anyone – parents, grandparents, educators, concerned family and community members – who care about nurturing the Inner Brilliance of our children and who want to nurture them in being who they are.

Click here to learn more and join us today!

Don’t Miss This Call Tonight! Nurture your Child’s Self-Confidence

This is your last chance to join us for my class tonight “5 Essential Secrets to Raising a Self-Confident Child.” I have so much crucial information to share with you.

In fact, as I’ve been finalizing the content for the class, I’ve discovered I have SIX essential secrets to share with you. I promised I would give you the best I have about nurturing your child’s self-confidence, and that is exactly what I am going to do.

Often parents don’t recognize when their child is struggling with confidence, a lack of grounded trust in herself. Yet if your child has recurrent emotional meltdowns or angry outbursts, if your child hesitates, is often uncertain, or lacks motivation, your child is in some way struggling with self-confidence.

I invite you to take a moment and consider how important your child and his confidence is to you.

Then consider what you are willing to invest of your time and finances to nurture that. It’s probably a lot.

Now let this powerful feeling of commitment to your child and her self-confidence move you to take action right now.

Sure, spending more money and being on the phone tonight may not sound like the highlight of your day right now. But what if you leave the class more energized, more inspired, more focused and clear about what you need to do to nurture this all-important quality in your child?

What if you can make a profound, positive change in your child’s life by making a few simple changes in your own behavior and in your awareness of what your child needs from you?

The time is now. There is no more ‘tomorrow’ to sign-up. I’d love to share this information with you.

Click here to sign-up now.

If you already have something you’re doing tonight during this time and cannot be on the call live, sign-up now and I will send you the audio recording and the transcript within just a couple of days.

Plus, if you have a question you’d like to ask me about your unique situation, go ahead and register and then email your question to me by 3 pm Pacific today, and I will answer your question during the 30-minute Q & A at the end of the class.

Don’t miss this impactful, life-changing information! I am blown-away by all the content I will be sharing with you tonight!

Click here to sign-up now.

Oh, and when you come to the call tonight, be sure to have paper and pencil and your favorite drink so you can get the most from this class for yourself and your child.

I look forward to talking with you soon.

To your Joyous Family!

P.S. Please tell your friends and family who might also want this information about nurturing their child’s self-confidence. Make a difference in their lives too! Thanks.

Are You and Your Child Loving Your Emotional Connection?

Last week I promised I have a gift for you. Here it is!!

Beginning next Monday, August 13 until Friday, August 24, you can get a copy of my book “Joyous Child Joyous Parent” for FREE. Plus you can get copies for your family and friends! All I ask is that you cover the low investment of handling and shipping.

Why am I doing this?

The quality of the paper used in the cover is not up to my standards, and I want everything I do to represent the quality of the information I share and how I want to express myself in the world. Everything else, except the cover paper, is great about my book.

I thought, “What a fantastic opportunity to gift my book to you, my followers who are passionate about bringing out the best in your child!” Therefore, I am sharing my inspiring, practical book with you to assist you in creating the Joyous Family you most desire.

Please note: I have a limited number of books. When the books are gone, there will be no more for FREE.

My book will still be available in the future in a printed version with a quality cover I love, and I am in the process of creating e-versions of my book.

Remember, my book giveaway begins one week from today. I will send out an email to remind you. Plus in the coming weeks, I am doing a special video series of my Top 10 Tips, which are included in my book.

I’m so excited to be sharing this with you!

Today’s video is Top Ten Tip #3 from my book. Enjoy!

Another School Shooting…Are You Paying Attention?

Recently in Ohio, another tragic high school shooting occurred, and the unhappy, struggling 17-year-old who did the killing will likely be tried as an adult. So many young lives cut short including the shooter’s. Everyone is in pain. An entire community feels the loss.

Prosecutors tend to demonize the perpetrators of school shootings in the mistaken belief that these are “bad” kids and that punishing this young person will prevent further shootings. The rationale is the perpetrator committed an adult act and so he must pay as an adult. But who made the gun available to him and modeled using it?

We talk about holding these young people accountable for their actions, but who is going to hold accountable his peers who rejected him, the school officials who created an emotionally painful environment and who neglected to recognize this young man’s struggle and to do something effective about it? Where was his family? Who is going to hold these people accountable for their part?

Most school professionals sincerely try to do their best for the young people in their care. Yet they are also pressured by the hierarchy above them and an educational system based on conformity, not nurturing the emotional needs of children.

Young people who commit these acts struggle painfully with confusing emotions and problems, because of which they can see no other way to resolve their distress. They feel out of control emotionally and disconnected with their family, teachers and peers.

A little known fact is that most school shooters were on anti-depressant drugs, which have a documented history of producing violent and aggressive acts. Will we ever know if T J was taking prescribed psychiatric medication?

If we are to end these violent acts, we must look through the eyes of the perpetrator, beyond punishing him, and explore and discover effective ways to prevent and heal children’s emotional pain.

Looking deeper, the young people who commit violent acts reflect the emotional distress, loneliness, and pressure all students experience in our schools, whether they are academically and socially successful or not. School is a high-pressure institution for our young people, one that isolates them from their peers, their parents and teachers and that demands they conform to the expected standards of achievement.

Even the so-called successful ones who appear to be okay on the surface feel the same things, sometimes more so because more is expected of them. Young people who commit violent acts against others and themselves are like the canary in the mine, indicators of what is happening for all.

Our Western culture values academic, professional, and financial success as our highest measure of accomplishment, even at the price of our inner happiness and peace and loving connection with the precious people in our lives.

Today, as you interact with your child, look to see how he is doing emotionally before you make demands on him.

Is she relaxed and happy?

Has he had a good day and is he sharing it with you?

Is there something else she needs right now – perhaps from you – more than to complete her homework? Does he need some down time by himself to regroup?

The opportunity to learn academic information will always be there. This moment for your child and with your child will never come again. Make it one that nurtures you both!

What are you going to do differently today? I’d love for you to share it with me and other readers by commenting below.

Helping Your Child with Homework – Most Common Parenting Mistake

If you struggle to get your child to do her homework, the most common mistake you’re likely making is taking responsibility for something that is her responsibility. Too much structure imposed by you limits your child’s ability to create structure that supports and works for her. You’re teaching her to rely on you instead of developing her own inner resources.

Plus, the frequent struggle, conflict and pressure you both experience profoundly hurts the emotional connection between you and your child – your most precious resource and delight as a parent.

The most powerful antidote to struggling with your child to do her homework is to empower your child to develop her own approach and plan about her homework and to stay out of her way, being there for her only when you’re asked.

Are you struggling or concerned about a school-related issue? If you’d like some new ideas and strategies that will help you resolve these challenges, check out my new teleclass series : “The Fast Track to Solving the Day-to-Day Challenges of Helping Your Child Succeed in School.”