Are You Trying to Control Your Anger with Your Child?

June 8, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Most of us grow up being taught to worship the ‘God of Logic and Reason.’ You were mostly likely taught to use your intellect to think your way out of difficulties and to control your emotions. Because of this, you may be trying to use your rational mind to control your anger and frustration toward your child.

I’ve found the most effective way to work through emotional challenges is by focusing on your underlying emotions and to not try to suppress them and shove them under the rug. They are still there and will re-surface sometime in the future, probably with more intensity.

When you increase your awareness of what is stirring up your anger — it is NOT your child — then you begin to have needed awareness and strategies to calm to your inner emotional fire.

This is exactly why I am offering my one-time only teleclass “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child” on Monday, June 10. In this class, you will:

  • Become more aware of the under-lying causes of your irritation.
  • Learn new strategies to approach your repetitive challenges with your child so you stay cool as a cucumber.
  • Develop new skills to nurture your own emotional well-being.
  • Discover new tools to communicate with your child to reduce or eliminate the challenging moments.
  • Learn an effective 4- step process to ‘clean up the mess’ when you find yourself yelling at your child.

If you’re ready to turn anger and annoyance with your child toward greater calm and connection, I invite you to sign-up today for “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child.”

Click here now to sign-up and learn more.

Your relationship with your child is the most important asset when it comes to being a parent. Repetitive angry interactions dramatically harm and limit this relationship. Don’t let this affordable, easy opportunity go by!

 

Filed Under: Children, Fun, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , ,

Are You Secretly Hoping for a ‘Perfect’ Child?

June 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Becoming impatient with your child is not something you think about. It’s something that seems to happen out of nowhere when your child does something you don’t like, something that doesn’t fit your idea of how and who he should be.

Your impatience occurs because an emotion is triggered within you, and you react. You cannot think your way to controlling your temper and managing your reactivity. You have to explore, observe, and feel your way to greater inner awareness and clarity.

In my coaching with parents, I’ve discovered many parents secretly hope for a ‘perfect’ child. A child who is always cooperative and does what you say instantly, and he does it happily.

Raising a ‘perfect’ child certainly seems like it would make parenting so much easier. There would be no conflict. She would always say and do the right things. He’d easily be nice and get along with everyone. You would be such a proud parent.

Sounds a little silly, right? You want your child to be the human being he is. The perfect child would get a little boring, and you’d begin to wonder what’s going on with your child…after months of enjoying his perfection. 🙂

Joking aside, the reality is that every time you feel impatient with you’re unconsciously wishing your child were different, were more the way you believe he should be. You’re resisting the reality of who he is right now.

Of course, you have to have structure and your needs and wants matter. Right now, I’m pointing out a possible source of your frustration.

Obviously, your child is a unique, whole, separate person.

Obviously, your child is going to have her own opinion and ways of doing things.

The next time you feel resistant and annoyed with what your child is doing, see if you can pause, take a deep breath, and notice what you believe your ‘perfect’ child should do. See if you can create some space between your belief and your emotional trigger.

See if you can find a little amusement with yourself for your humanity.

*******

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about my upcoming new teleclass “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child” on Monday, June 10.

If you’d like more insights about:
What triggers you emotionally with your child
How to be less reactive and more responsive to your child
How to clean up the hurt, distance, and mistrust after you speak angrily with your child

I invite you to sign-up for my teleclass today! I’ll be sharing lots more goodies and strategies with you then.

Click here to sign-up and learn more.

 

Filed Under: Children, Fun, Grandparenting, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Impatience with Your Child is Your Invitation to Grow!

June 7, 2013 By Leave a Comment

“Your impatience with your child is your invitation to grow.” Usually parents groan and lean back in their chairs when they hear me say this. This is not the answer they were hoping for.

“Isn’t there some way I can get my child to change so I don’t become so frustrated with her?” they think. “I was hoping there is a quick technique I can use with her behavior so she’ll do what I want.”

Wonderfully for you, the answer to that question is “No. Not if you want a close, happy relationship with your child Not if you’re looking for a long-term solution and not just a short-term quick fix. Not if you want your child to blossom into her potential.”

The things your child does that annoy or irritate you are such gifts to you as a person, even though it doesn’t feel that way at the time. They are your pathway to growing as a person and becoming an even better parent.

Many of you have heard me say, “There is only one person whose behavior you can change.” — More groans.

What makes this so difficult to hear? Because it seems to be human nature to want the other person to change. Wouldn’t that be so much easier than wrestling with and figuring out your part in your un-fun interaction patterns?

When you wrestle with your own limiting beliefs and emotions, you discover new insights and understandings about yourself, your child and how to create a partnership that works for both of you.

This is one of the best gifts of being a parent – being called on by your child’s uniqueness to let go of limiting beliefs and emotions that no longer serve you. Your child’s irritating response to you and your own angry or harsh response to your child are action-stirring feedback that it’s time to look int he mirror.

When you step back and take the time to reflect, there are all kinds of possibilities of what you’ll discover. Perhaps you’ll realize:

  • You’re expecting or demanding too much of your child.
  • Your own fears or desire to be the perfect parent or to have a perfect child are getting in the way.
  • Your child is ‘running the show’ too much in your family.
  • This issue is not a battle worth fighting.
  • This list goes on…

I invite you to explore with me what your impatience is telling you and what you can do to have more harmony, ease, and fun relating with your child. This getting frustrated, angry, or hurtful with your child is so limiting for everyone both now and in the future.

I promise you it can be so much easier!

Ready to explore?

Great! My new Parenting Solutions teleclass “Keep Your Cool: How to Be More Patient with Your Child” is Monday, June 10.

Click here now to sign-up and learn more.

I invite you to put yourself in the driver’s seat of your own emotions, beliefs, and choices. Learn new ways to deal with your frustrations and stress without being negative toward your child. The price to your family is way too high.

 

Filed Under: Children, Fun, Grandparenting, Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Why Reducing Your Stress is Important to Your Family

May 3, 2013 By Leave a Comment

First of all, thank you to all of you who shared with me what most upsets and causes you stress. I am using your feedback to help me design the class.

This week has been interesting as I’ve been preparing my upcoming class “De-Stress Your Life for Parents.” At first, I thought I didn’t have that much to say. But, as the week has progressed, I realize I have a LOT to share with you about this important topic.

You see, I am quite an expert on stress as I have wrestled with it myself in my own life. Time pressures and commitments…this is probably my biggest one. Needless worry about my health, my family at times.

Along the way, I’ve discovered and developed insights and strategies that have made a big difference. I’d love to share these with you so you can free yourself and enjoy your life more.

Be sure to note: The teleclass is this next Monday, May 6. Even if you can’t be on the call live, you can still sign up and get all the information in the recording and handout.

If you’re ready to take action to de-stress your life, I’d love to have you join us!

Click here to sign-up and get more info.

Happy trails!

To your Joyous Family!

Connie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Video: “Why Reducing Your Stress is Important to Your Family”

Your stress affects not only you. It affects everyone in your family.

I know you care deeply about your family or you wouldn’t be receiving my emails and you wouldn’t even be taking the time to read this one email. You have a lot of other things you could be doing, yet you choose to do this right now.

In today’s short video, I share with you 3 important ways your family feels the effects of your stress.

I invite you to watch it now and then commit to make May the month to learn, develop, and implement skills and strategies to reduce your stress – now.

Filed Under: Loving Yourself, Parenting, Partnering Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

What Did You Discover?

April 2, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Over the weekend, I sent you an exercise to help you discover how much your child ‘wants’ to listen to you, the operative word here being ‘want.’ Have you had a chance to do it?

If you haven’t done it, I really encourage you to focus on the exercise questions I suggested for at least one evening with your child to see what you discover.

Stepping back to observe your interaction with your child will give you valuable new awareness and insights about yourself and your child. In my coaching and parenting classes, I frequently suggest parents observe a particular area of their family relationships to see what they discover. They often return with unexpected new insights.

Many parenting techniques rely on fear, rewards, and control to manage a child’s behavior and to get him to listen. Yet these approaches actually limit your child’s capability and full self-expression.

Plus, using bribes and reward dramatically harm your relationship with your child both now and in the long run. In the younger years, these strategies may appear to work and yield the results you want; however, as your child becomes a teenager, these old techniques put huge distances between you and your child.

Teens refuse to be controlled by their parents using these techniques.

Your child of any age wants a mutually honest, loving, trusting relationship with you. Without this kind of relationship with you, their desire and ability to listen diminishes.

A good way to begin to improve how much your child listens to you is with this easy, little-effort exercise. I encourage you to do it tonight!

~~~~~~

Here are the steps of the exercise:

1. Go about your day or evening observing the reality of your child’s desire to listen to you. Ask yourself these questions:

~ How much does my child want to listen to me?

~ What does she do that makes me feel this way?

~ What are the things I do that seem to cause her to pull back and not listen?

~ What are the things I do that seem to invite her to be closer and more connected to me and to want to listen and cooperate more?

2. Have fun observing yourself and your child.

3. Take a few moments and write your answers to the above questions.

4. Last question – What is my most important discovery or insight from observing how much my child wants to listen to me?

5. Share with me and other like-minded parents what you discover.
Share your discoveries and insights below.

~~~~~~~~~~

New Teleclass Next Monday! “Why Johnny Doesn’t Listen and What You Can Do About It”

An essential component of Joyous Parenting is having your child listen to you. Trying to raise and live with a child who doesn’t listen is exhausting and stressful. As a parent, you work much harder than you need to.

If you wish getting your child to listen were easier, I’d love to have you join us next Monday for this valuable class filled with practical tools you can use immediately.

If you’re busy next Monday, don’t use that as an excuse not to get this useful information that will make a profound positive difference in how your child listens to you and how much you enjoy one another.

Click here to sign-up and for more info.

Many people believe that parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. It doesn’t have to be. With a few simple tools and insights and your willingness to grow as a person and a parent, parenting can be the truly joyous experience you envisioned when your child was born.

Here’s to making parenting easier and a lot more fun!

To your Joyous Family!
Connie

Filed Under: Children, Education, Fun, Grandparenting, Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »