A Mom’s Win-Win-Win

April 9, 2007 By Leave a Comment

Robin, the mother of two elementary school age children, is
a coaching client of mine who has come to me on several occasions for support
in having the joyous life she desires for herself and her children. Recently she shared with me a delightful
weekend she created for herself and people she loves.

Friday afternoon she and her children drove to the mountains
to play in the snow. This was a treat for the three of them to share! Robin enthusiastically shared. "We threw snowballs, attempted to make a snowman, but barely made a snow mound! My two children made snow angels and I couldn’t get my son off the sled disk. He must have gone up and down that hill 50 times! I had to wear snow shoes because I kept sinking to my knees in the snow. It was funny that the kids didn’t sink since they were so light."

Saturday evening they drove home, and Robin took her
children to their grandparents for the evening and all day Sunday. Both her children and their grandparents were thrilled to have the time together. 

Sunday was a luscious day all for herself. Robin slept in
late “to about 8 or 8:30 and then I mosied around the house, relaxing and having some great spiritual time
on Sunday morning, followed by almost 5 hours at the spa with a facial,
massage and pedicure! What a relaxing, rejuvenating day!"

Reflect for a moment on all the win’s Robin created for
herself, her children, and their grandparents. Everyone got to have special
time and experiences with people they dearly love and enjoy. This is excellent, magical
creating at its best–win-win-win!

Are you inspired? You too can create something this joyous for yourself and the people you love. Begin by thinking of something
special you want to create for youself, something that would give you great joy.
Then see how many other people for whom you can create win’s at the same time.

Discover what a powerful, magical creator you are!

Filed Under: Parenting

Have Parenting Be More Fun!

April 2, 2007 By 1 Comment

Spring is here! Warmer weather has arrived. It is a time for new beginnings, new life, new ideas. Are you ready to have parenting be more fun, joyous, and delightful?

Recently I saw an article online about parenting. The main point of the article was that parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever do.  Do you sometimes feel this way? Is your child’s well-being worrisome and stressful to you?  Do you feel tired of frequent bickering, conflicts, and power struggles? Do you simply want parenting to be more fun and easy?

Parenting as a challenge and effort has never sounded good to me, and I’m sure this isn’t what you envisioned when you first became a parent. I believe parenting is intended to be fun, joyous, fulfilling, rewarding, loving, and amazing! Are you ready for more joy, magic, and ease in parenting? If yes, then keep reading.

As a child, my parents often talked about how much they enjoyed my brother Larry and me, how much they enjoyed being our parents. Of course, there were times when they didn’t seem to be having fun as parents; but I believe most of the time they enjoyed it.

I think my mom and dad made a choice to have parenting be enjoyable for them. It was a gift to themselves and to us. I know I made a choice to be the best mommie I knew how to be and to love and enjoy my son dearly.

When you became a parent, what choices did you make? Have you continued to be true to your original vision or have you lost your way? Perhaps you have you done what you thought was expected of you without consciously reflecting on what you wanted as a parent? Have you been on automatic, struggle and worry more than you want?

Today is the perfect day to either reaffirm your original choices as a parent or to make some new ones! It’s never too late, no matter your child’s age. I invite you to choose joy, delight, ease, amazement—all the parenting magic you want. This applies for all of you who are teachers also.

Being a successful, effective parent who raises a self-reliant child is definitely a worthwhile goal to aspire to, and I suggest you consider the following ideas.

  1. To be truly successful and effective in raising a self-reliant child, it must be fun and nurturing to both you and your child. Without this, your effectiveness diminishes dramatically as does your child’s ability to make wise, self-supporting choices. There is nothing to be gained for you or your child by struggle and hardship.
  2. No relationship with anyone is ever 100% free of conflict or challenge. This is a part of being human. By maneuvering skillfully through these uncomfortable times, however, you can create more joy, more love.

Love Joyously!

Here are some easy suggestions of things you can do to make parenting more fun.

  1. Find a rut you’re in and get out of it. If some part of your relationship with your child is repetitive and you’re not enjoying it or it’s boring, then try something new.
    A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I rode Destiny and Echo on a trail we had ridden many times previously. This time we decided to ride the trail in reverse. Presto! It suddenly became a brand new trail. Find something like this you can do in your life.
  2. Take a risk. Whenever you do something new, it may feel uncomfortable simply because it is new. Do something this week that puts you out of your comfort zone.
  3. Find a new, more positive perspective on the routine in your life. When you do something because you “have to”, it takes all the fun out of it. Ask yourself “why” you want to do this. Then inspire yourself, find another way, or don’t do it.
  4. Watch and learn from your child how to have fun.This is one area where your child has lots more knowledge than you. Let your child teach you how to have more fun.
  5. Learn to set boundaries and reduce conflicts with your child. There is nothing like fighting and arguments to take the fun out of being a parent. To assist you with this, I invite you to take my TeleClass about setting limits this month, and begin to put more fun and magic into your relationship with your child.

Parenting can be one of the most fulfilling experiences of your life. Give this to yourself and to your child today!

Filed Under: Children, Newsletter, Parenting

Heavy Metal Music-Is It Really Bad for Kids?

March 21, 2007 By 1 Comment

During the last several years, heavy metal music has been getting a bad rap by the media and many experts and theorists about child behavior. These experts believe heavy metal music leads to increased violence and other “problems” we see in young people today. But is this really true?

This week a study from Britain found that heavy metal music may help to relieve mental tension in young people. Psychologists at the University of Warick in England  interviewed more than 1000 students at the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth. Researchers report, “They tend to listen to it to release the tension and pressure they feel, a kind of cathartic release.”

Young people report liking songs about politics and about darker, more complex material than your average pop song. Researcher Ken Waller concludes, “It’s probably a perfectly healthy way to cope.”

If you want to listen to the full segment on the BBC’s The World, go here: http://www.theworld.org/ and listen to the archive for today, March 21.

The music of each generation is a reflection of the times in which they live. This music is often deeply criticized for the decline of youth by the older generation.

In my parents’ generation, it was the jitterbug. When I was young, it was the dangerous hip swinging of Elvis and the long-hair radicalism of the Beatles. For today’s young people, it is rap, hip hop, heavy metal and the controversial music of Marilyn Manson, which my son Orion informs me is industrial heavy metal.

Heavy metal music was the music I used to find most abhorrent…until Orion became the drummer in a heavy metal band. I see how much he loves it—the darkness, the complex rhythm patterns, the rawness, the emotional edginess.

Doug and I go to many of his concerts. Much to our amazement we love them! Most of his shows start at 11:30 PM to midnight. This means we leave the house about 10:30, just when our bodies and minds are screaming, “What are you doing? It’s time to go to bed!” It’s worth every minute of it.

By the way, his band Echoes of Fear have a recording from their new CD online. Simply click here,  http://www. myspace.com/echoesoffear  Then turn up your speakers, sit back and enjoy!!

Remember, the amazing drummer is my son! 

Filed Under: Children, Current Affairs, Parenting

An Educational Alternative that Works

March 9, 2007 By Leave a Comment

I recently received an email from a client "Mary"
you might find interesting. 

Mary writes, "I can’t believe how perfect the timing of
our conversation yesterday was. “Mark” came home (from school) completely down
in the dumps. I was asking him about his day, and he just kept saying how
boring everything was. He said all his friends were bored too. His friend
“Andy” said they should go and complain to the student council or the
principal. I told him that was a fabulous idea. They should get some specific
ideas about some changes that should be implemented, rally up a bunch of kids,
and go to the principal or the school board. “

“I started telling him about the Sudbury school (which I had looked at on line
as you suggested) just to make the point that their model might give him some
ideas. I started reading their web page out loud to him, and I got no further
than the first paragraph (it says something about kids doing whatever they
want, when they want, and how they want all day), and he jumped up and said,
"I want to go there!"

“So we started looking at where their schools are, and they
have one about an hour away. I called them this morning to get an information
packet and arrange a tour. Mark has been so excited about it, he can’t stop
talking about it and asking questions about it. My husband and I also love the
idea (except for the 2 hours of travel.)

His younger brother “Sean” is also excited about it. He
mostly likes the idea of his vote being as powerful as a teacher’s vote!
Anyway, thanks for the recommendation. I also ordered the books you
recommended. I’ll let you know how things go!” 

Can you feel the joy and enthusiasm Mark and Sean feel? I
love this note because it tells us so much about children, who they are, and
what they need and want. Mark and Sean’s enthusiasm about having choices,
options, power, and freedom are true for most, if not all, children. Children
thrive in environments where they have power, autonomy, and true freedom to
choose.

When I asked Mary if I could share her email with you, this
is what she said, "Thanks for all your help! I strongly encourage everyone
to take a look at the Sudbury school system, if for no other reason than to open their minds to other ways to
educate their children and/or improve our public school system. I’m a
traditionally educated person with multiple degrees and a huge skeptic in
general, and this philosophy has won me over!"

If you’d like to know more about the democratically-run Sudbury Valley School and their affiliated schools, go to their web site at www.sudval.org. A book I
recommend you read is "Free at Last".

Let yourself be inspired by
what is possible!

 

 

Filed Under: Children, Education, Parenting
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