I recently went to see “Juvie” at the Dragon Theater in Palo Alto, CA. It is a compelling story of the lives of 12 youth who are brought into juvenile hall on a variety of charges including shoplifting, accessory to a murder, selling drugs, vandalism, and arson.
All of the kids are afraid and deeply hurting although they deal with it in different ways, ways I have seen in my work with youth and adults. Here are some of their stories and the way they deal with their fear and hurting.
The shoplifter is the daughter of a wealthy family whose pain is hidden beneath an arrogant attitude and confidence her dad will rescue her. She is cold and uncaring of others. With her strong, seemingly confident attitude, she never appears afraid. She seems to think she’s better and different than the other youth and keeps herself separated and isolated from them.
The youth who is arrested for money laundering has a lower than average IQ who doesn’t really know what he was doing for the men he worked for. He just wants a job and to succeed at it. His pain and confusion are honest and visible. He is vulnerable and open. Because of this, he is both ridiculed and taken care of by the others.
The young man who is an accessory to a murder went to the store to buy beer with his friend. His friend brutally attacked the store clerk when he made them wait to check out. This young man did nothing except be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong “friend.” He and his friend flea the scene in a dramatic car chase before being apprehended. He is overwhelmed and confused by what happened and cannot believe he can be in trouble because he “did nothing.”
The toughest-appearing girl has been in juvie five times previously. She knows the ropes and is confident she’s getting off easily just as she did before. She bosses the others around, makes fun of them, and seems totally unaffected by her situation. Her walls are high and her heart hardened from pain and fear, which are buried deep, so deep she’s forgotten they are there.
Jane Doe, a visibly terrified girl, trusts no one, not even with her real name. She’s learned the hard way from life that adults cannot be trusted. Her way of keeping safe is to keep all of her self, her feelings, and her sensitivity tucked tightly inside her where no one can get to her. Perhaps not even herself.
Fear and hurt have totally consumed the young female arsonist who finds comfort in fire. Fire is warm, dancing, alive. She seems to not understand the damage she causes or the illegality of her actions. She is addicted.
The young vandal’s anger drives him to strike back at all the hurt imposed on him by the adults in his life. It is his way of getting even, of making things right. He feels the harsh words, the negative judgment and criticism, the lack of concern for his feelings and desires. Then he consciously gets his revenge by vandalizing property. He feels no remorse.
I’ve seen lots of kids with similar attitudes, beliefs and ways of coping. (Adults, too!) They’re afraid and they hurt. They need us, the adults around them, to see below the surface of their behavior to the pain, confusion, and overwhelm buried in their hearts. Every child, every person, no matter what his age, wants to be loved and to do good things. It’s human nature. Sometimes we get a little lost along the way.
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