Everyone
struggles with how to respond to behavior they experience as difficult
in other people. Even though we don’t usually think of it, all of our
difficulties with behavior are about emotions. They are          about all of the emotions involved–ours and the other person’s.

      

In our
society, we don’t pay much attention to our emotions, and as a result,
we can feel pretty lost when situations become emotional. Generally, we
are taught to suppress our emotions, especially the "negative" ones,
such as anger, sadness, irritation and grief.

      

Many people          believe their emotions get them into trouble. This is often true because          they don’t know how to lovingly and wisely handle their own uncomfortable          emotions or someone else’s.

      

We like
to believe we are rational beings and that our choices and actions are
based purely on reason and common sense. Research shows us something
else. We make choices based on our emotions and then use our intellect          to find rational reasons to explain why we made the choice we did.

      

Our
emotions are at the heart and soul of who we are and what we say and
do. They are a powerful force within us that we try to control, rather
than listening to them and valuing their importance in our life.

      

We usually          perceive all behavioral difficulties as strictly behavior and fail to          see the emotional connection beneath the surface. You          may believe you need to control and manage your child’s behavior when          she acts inappropriately.

      

But what
I’ve seen is when you try to manage your child’s behavior without
considering what’s happening with her emotionally, it seldom works in
the long run. It’s your child’s emotions that drive her behavior and choices.
When you learn to "read" and understand what is happening with your
child emotionally, then you have the insight to make informed, wise,
compassionate choices that support your child’s emotional and spiritual
well-being.

      

Your child’s          emotional stress can also be expressed physically
in the lack of well-being in his body. The physical and emotional have
a strong connection within all of us. You may even seek a doctor’s
advice for emotional problems that seem to be physical in nature.
Emotional distress can be expressed in many ways in children, including
eating problems, nervous habits, illness, and injury due to accidents.

      

The
essential key to bring out the best in your child physically and
behaviorally is to nurture his emotional and spiritual wholeness. Then
he freely expresses his natural desire and ability to relate
harmoniously with you. His soul essence shines brightly and he easily
shares his magnificent gifts with life.
               
                Love          Joyously!

      

When you          see your child struggling or "misbehaving", take a step          back
and consider what is happening with her emotionally. Do not see the
problem as only a behavioral or physical concern. Ask yourself, "What
might my child be experiencing emotionally right now?

      

You have          within you a natural ability to nurture your child’s emotional and spiritual          wholeness. Decide to place your emphasis and focus here with
your child and yourself. When you look beneath the surface to the heart
and soul of your child, problems disappear and you and your child
flourish in wonderful ways you didn’t know were possible!