Here are some fun family photos from our camping trip last weekend. Enjoy!!
Family Time in Nature is The Best
August 18, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Orion, Nichola, Sebastian, Doug and I
went camping last weekend in the Sierras. We had such a joyous, magical, fun
time together loving each other and the beauty and peacefulness of Mother
Earth. Sebastian went non-stop until those moments when exhaustion overtook
him. Here is a photo of Bas and me playing Horsie.
Nichola shared an interesting experience
with me. The week before going camping, several people were shocked they were
taking a toddler camping in the mountains. They cautioned her about all the
dangers in nature that could hurt a child so young.
Yet the two times we’ve camped as a
family this year, both times Orion has observed, “Isn’t it amazing that we can
let Sebastian run around and worry about him less when we’re camping than when
we’re at home? Even when the last time was camping in the desert!”
Nature gives us magical moments to awaken
to ourselves and what matters most. A few weeks ago my assistant Lisa and her
family enjoyed an active, fun camping vacation in Yosemite. She shared she was
surprised and delighted how quickly she connected with nature and relaxed
shortly after arriving. Then they enjoyed lots of hiking and bike riding as a
family. Bliss!
Enjoying the beauty of Mother Earth is
one of those precious resources available to us all every moment. Yet because
she seems to be always there, it is easy to postpone those precious moments …
Effective parenting advice is available 24/7!
Ever find yourself overwhelmed in the moment and not
knowing what to do to respond to your child? If you’re like most parents, when
you’re upset, you aren’t thinking clearly. This is when you say and do things you
may regret later.
These are the situations when you need some good
solid parenting advice and a reminder of the kind of parent you want to be. My
new book Joyous Child Joyous Parent is filled with a treasure trove of inspiring, practical guidelines to
help you in those times of crisis and on a day-to-day basis.
This Thursday, August 20, I’ll announce my Virtual
Book Launch Party, in which I’ll share with you an exciting opportunity to
understand and use the Joyous Parenting™ approach more fully when you
communicate with your child. Be sure to watch for your invitation!
Want to know how to improve your child’s behavior
now?
As a parent, you probably spend more time focusing on
your child’s behavior than on your own. Today’s parenting tip reminds you of
your true source of power and how to make a positive influence in your child’s
life. Read below to discover what you can do now!
Be Aware of Your Own Behavior More Than Your Child’s
August 18, 2009 By Leave a Comment
As a parent, you know your behavior dramatically impacts
your child’s behavior and life. Yet it seems so much easier to focus on your
child’s behavior than it does to focus on your own. Yet it is your behavior,
mind-set and emotional well-being
that determine the parent you are and the kind of influence you have in your
child’s life.
When you choose to focus on your own behavior first,
you have greater clarity and insight to understand yourself and your child.
Plus it is the one area in which you have the power to make a significant
improvement in your child’s behavior and in your interactions with your child.
Put your attention on your own behavior first and discover
the powerful positive difference you can make in your child’s life!
The Price of Violence to our Children
August 14, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Paul Butler in his book Let’s Get Free: A Hip-Hop Theory of Justice reports the U.S. has 5% of the world’s population and 25% of its prisoners. He adds that a prison opens in the U.S. every week.
He argues the U.S. has gone too far in its “lock ‘em up culture” and that “The freedom we save will be our own.”
Add to this that every state allows juveniles to be tried as adults and more than 20 states allow pre-adolescent children as young as 7 to be tried in adult courts.
These statistics are shocking and deeply troublesome. When children are treated harshly when they are young, whether it is by the justice system, our educational system or their parents, they are more likely to struggle for happiness and success in life and to become increasingly angry, isolated or violent in adulthood.
When children are born, they are extremely sensitive to the emotions of the people around them and to the way they are treated emotionally. They feel our unconscious feelings even when we do not. They are so easily influenced by the adults in their life.
As adults, most of us forget how sensitive we were as children and have unknowingly put up emotional walls between ourselves and those around us to keep us safe emotionally. We’ve learned to put up walls to keep us from feeling those painful, uncomfortable feelings that come with harsh treatment and lack of understanding about our emotional needs.
Every day as parents, educators, and a society, we make choices that either allow our children to feel safe emotionally or we make reactive choices in our words and actions that affect their Emotional Wholeness and well-being for the rest of their life.
This is one of the most important ideas for all of us to deeply understand. What happens in a child’s life emotionally colors and affects the rest of his life. There is simply so way around this.
Healing can happen when difficult environments are changed or children are put in new situations that support their healing. Nonetheless, the more severe the emotional hurting, the more long-lasting the pain and the greater impact in their life.
Children are a high priority to almost everyone in the U.S. and around the world. We care deeply about children. Yet emotional pain is often caused by unconscious behaviors by adults who don’t fully understand the impact of their words and actions in a child’s emotional experience.
When adults react from fear and anger, whether it’s in a child’s home, school, or in our country’s justice system, both children and adults pay a high price. It is essential that we become more conscious and committed to nurturing our children’s Emotional Wholeness if we are to see them be as happy and successful as we all desire.
When children are nurtured emotionally, our world becomes a more harmonious, joyous place for everyone.
What will you do today to emotionally nurture the children in your life?
How Fulfilling and Easy is Being a Parent for You?
August 13, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Last week I sent three quick questions to my mailing list:
1. What describes you best? (It's okay to select two if they are both true)
_____ Stay-at-home mom
_____ Working mom
_____ Professional mom
_____ Entrepreneurial mom
_____ Stay-at-home dad
_____ Working dad
_____ Professional dad
_____ Entrepreneurial dad
2. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with one being low and 10 being high), how easy and fulfilling is your over-all experience of being a parent? (Feel free to tell me why you picked the number you did)
3. What are your two greatest challenges, concerns or questions keeping you from being the parent you most deeply long to be or that keep you from empowering your child to express his/her most positive, capable, joyous self? In other words, what keeps you awake at night as a parent?
I’ve been delighted and touch by the amazing number of responses and parents’ heart-felt honesty as they’ve shared their profound love for their kids and their desire to be the best parent they can be to their amazing children. Here are some of the comments I’ve received so far:
The Joys…
The over-riding message is how profoundly parents LOVE their children. This comes from a place in their heart that is so deep and so special.
“A definite 10 for fulfilling and an 7-8 for being easy. A 10 because I can't imagine NOT having my children. I live for my family and sacrifice so much for them.”
” I love my kids, enjoy them and think we have a respectful and loving relationship with them and am very proud of them.”
And whether they rate themselves a 1 or an 11 at fulfilling their soul’s calling, there are common themes in the challenges they share:
The Challenges…
Here are some of the common themes.
“harder than thought .My child doesn't listen and her friendships at school are hard to encourage her to play with nice kids as they are cliquey.”
“Wondering where things went wrong with my older daughter that has kept her at such a distance for the past 10 yrs (since she went to college) and wondering if there is anything I can do but wait and hope she comes back.”
“I worry about the school she's going to next month. Her old school had no homework, no testing, and minimal grading (mostly narrative). I don't know how to motivate her to value school either, esp. since I question my own having valued school perhaps way too much. (I was a nerd.) She'd really prefer to homeschool.”
“I'm just like my Mom. I fight it every day.”
I worry so much about losing them…to any of the dangers in the world; drivers who aren't looking, kidnappers, sexual predators, guns, their own bad choices. I don't know if this keeps me from being a better parent, as I generally don't let my worry get in the way of their lives (I still give them freedom to explore as their friends do). My greatest challenge as a parent though, is having patience.”
“Stress of being with kids all day and lack of patience keep me from being the mom I would like to be.”
“I hope I can give her all the tools to be whoever she wants to be.”
“I was a stay at home mom and had to return to work. I feel guilty all the time and feel like I'm missing my son's life.”
“I'm not patient enough. I don't spend enough one-on-one time with them, or I don't listen enough”
“Managing emotions/reactions. Working to support a daughter with special needs (age 9) and wondering about her future”
It’s a Mixed Experience…
Some parents shared they experience a difference between fulfillment as a parent and how easy it is to be a parent. For these parents, fulfillment was higher than how easy it is.
“My kids are a joy to me and I love having them in my life. However, some part of me will worry about them for the rest of my life – are they happy, safe, fulfilled? Will they make the same mistakes as I made? All things that I cannot control (which is another email altogether) and I know that, but still …”
“I’m learning to balance, adjust and modify as I see that things need to change. Yet I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world.”
“Very mixed…..I have 2 daughters (22 and 28 yrs). They are very different in their relationships with me. the older one is extremely distant while the younger one is hot/cold. When they were young (to middle school age) they were both extremely loving, affectionate, close and a pure joy. The problem I experienced with motherhood was that I felt isolated and didn't take good enough care of myself. I did, however, find parenthood itself really fulfilling (I had had a teaching career full time until my first child was born when I was 35). I would ever say it was easy. I enjoyed being a mom so much, yet found it problematic in some ways.
How about you? I'd love to hear your experiences! I'll continue to post the answers I receive through next week.
Just send an email to connie@joywithchildren.com or post a comment below.
Just a little bit about me -- I'm a coach for parents, visionary guide, insightful trainer, and powerful consultant.