Top 10 Tips to
Create Joyous, Self-Reliant Children

1. Say “Yes!” to children in as many ways as you can.

Children need abundant opportunities to express and be themselves. Too many rules, “should’s” and “have-to’s” break a child’s spirit, and children lose their inner knowing and sense of self.

2. Be clear when you need to set a limit.

Only set a limit with your child when it is very important to you, then mean what you say. Threats, bribes, and lectures have little long-term impact. Be strong and brave enough to be true to yourself.

3. Play with them. It’s good for you and them.

Play is essential to a child’s development. It allows them to explore and experience the world in their unique way. Your relationship will blossom. You will become less stuffy, and you might even become a happier person.

4. Be authentically yourself. Tell them how you feel.

It’s not only okay, but essential, that your child know you for the human being you are. There is no such thing as a perfect parent / educator no matter how hard you try. It confuses a child’s sense of reality when you try to be something you’re not.

5. Pay attention to what they are feeling. Our first reaction is usually to our feelings, not theirs.

We all know children have feelings, but we too often become so aware of our own that we aren’t aware of theirs. A healthy balance between the two brings you closer to your child / student and makes you a more compassionate, effective parent / educator.

6. Go on fun adventures together!

This is a corollary of “Play with them.” Adventures mean doing something new, and allows both of you to experience new realities and perspectives. Having new experiences gives children a broader experience of themselves in the world as well as coping skills for handling the new situations in life.

7. Become more fully yourself. Discover yourself. Grow.

Most of us live within a small framework compared to who we truly are. Be willing to stretch and expand your perspective of yourself and of children. As you become more aware and more fully yourself, you create more loving, connected relationships with children.

8. Listen to children. They need it, and you will learn much.

We often believe we’re listening to children, when we’re really trying to get them to listen to us. Learn to be a question-asker who truly wants to discover and understand. Be willing to accept a child’s truth without needing to change it to fit your perspective.

9. Open your heart to loving them. It will nurture both of you.

You can never love children too much, and you can never be loved too much by a child. Breathe into your heart and expand your capacity for love.

10. Enjoy them as fully as you can. Life and time do not stand still.

No matter how many times you hear it, you don’t really “get it” until they’re grown and walking out the door. Children will grow up and become adults whether we enjoy them or not.